Be Kind

This post is really for me to remember...long with no pictures :)

Every year lots of goal setters choose a word to help define or guide their year; lots of you have posts on your blog all about it. I think that's great but, it's just never been something I cared to do, I'm not sure why. The past few months I've been trying to keep my cool as a mom while feeling queezy and tired, and I've felt embarrassed that somedays I just haven't done so great. I know I'm not unique, every mom has had to do the same thing at some point. I have felt frustrated, short and angry with my two sweet and good, good children over the small stuff. Andrew even started to get frustrated everytime I was upset and would say in a huff, 'Mom's just angry and mad'. Anyway, about a week ago I was feeling particularly bad about being a grumpy mom. The kids were in bed and I was looking online for some sort of inspirational quote that would help me redirect my focus. I found lots of nice quotes about motherhood and my favorites all ended up coming from Church leaders. Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley has sooo many helpful quotes, way too many to share but, instead I'll just say, I cried and realized that I can do better. Also, earlier this year I had an experience which really got to me. I've thought and thought and thought about it and wondered why and tried to understand. The good that came from it was that it made me look at the way I treat others and made me think about what I need to do to be the kind of person or friend or family member I really want to be. So...after that long history, I decided I needed to simply focus on the word KIND. And so, (now that it is March), this year I'm trying to remember to be kind, especially when it means helping show someone else that I love them.

My experiment has gone well each time I've felt kindness leaving me and then remembered to try harder. Kindness with children also means increased patience, affection, attention, time, sincerity, validation, real interest, and mostly selflessness. The first several days I was close to perfect, and so were Andrew and Ashley. Since then I've done well but, I'm not perfect; I have a long ways to go. I can see that my kids' behavior usually mimics my attitudes towards them very closely; if I'm kind they are happy and all is generally well. If I am impatient or snappy they fight, throw tantrums or become more clingy. 

I only share this for my own record and in the off chance that it is interesting or helpful to any of you great moms. The very last thing I want is sympathy...I know I am a good mom, I really do. I love my kids so much, it's an incredible experience, they are incredible kids and I wouldn't change a thing. I simply have had a few weeks that have tried me and I needed to take a deep breath and get back to it with a smile.

A few of my favorites, all from Sister Marjorie Pay Hinckley:
"Be kind. Everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
"We women have a lot to learn about simplifying our lives. We have to decide what is important and then move along at a pace that is comfortable for us. We have to develop the maturity to stop trying to prove something. We have to learn to be content with what we are."
"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautiful tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk's lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt form making sandwiches for a sick neighbor's children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my nails from helping weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheek and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."
"We are all in this together. We need each other. Oh, how we need each other. Those of us who are old need you who are young. And, hopefully, you who are young need some of us who are old. It is a sociological fact that women need women. We need deep and satisfying and loyal friendships with each other. These friendships are a necessary source of sustenance. We need to renew our faith every day. We need to lock arms and help build the kingdom so that it will roll forth and fill the whole earth."
And perhaps my very favorite from Elder M. Russell Ballard:
"What can . . . young mother[s] [do] . . . to reduce the pressure [of raising young children] and enjoy [their families] more? . . .
"Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.
"Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: 'The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. . . . I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less'.